I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
