Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
