I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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