your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
