Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Bring me that man meat
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
my penis made a compromise with my morals
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
