i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
