pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
