I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
is wine microwaveable?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
