i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
