For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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