When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
