Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
