i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
