she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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