D3 body, D1 cock
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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