Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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