Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
