I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
