he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
