Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
