Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
