I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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