She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
