the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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