How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
