96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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