i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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