you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
