Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
