So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
