So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
