i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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