we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
