Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
