thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
