I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
