Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
