Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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