You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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