Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
