Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
