8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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