we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
