Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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