My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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