i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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