I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
