Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
