Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
