It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Everyone says I win the strip club
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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