I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
